My Girl

 There is a special moment that will forever be imprinted on my heart.  It was the moment, almost four years ago now, that I finally gave my deepest longing over to the Lord.  I was sitting with a very dear friend, pouring my heart out to her about my desire to be a mother.  I was frustrated, sad and feeling helpless.  I cried, she hugged me, and we prayed.  And then, in that moment, I let go.

So many women struggle with infertility.  Looking back, I know now that my brief season of waiting for a child paled in comparison to the long wait (sometimes endless wait) of some.  But for me, that moment and that season was hard.  I will never forget the release I felt when I gave up my feeling of entitlement.  When I gave up trying to control every. single. detail. of the whole pregnancy process.  If you're a woman, chances are that you know what I'm talking about :)  I let go of the "me" part, and started embracing the "God" part.  Life, pregnancy and childbirth are all miracles, after all.  And by the Lord's amazing grace, I was sharing the wonderfully happy news of my pregnancy with that same friend about 9 weeks later.

I think I've written about why I chose the name Elliana for my first daughter before, but the short version is that it means "God's Answer".  In so many ways my sweet baby girl is truly an answered prayer.  There is simply no other name that would fit.  And as she turned THREE just a few short weeks ago, I started reflecting on her precious life.  How can it have already been three years?  Where has the time gone?  

 In that short time she's lived in two states and in three different houses.  She's traveled to 11 states, been on several airplanes, weathered her Daddy's deployment, and become a big sister.  She started pre-school this year, loves dance, "plays" soccer, participates in AWANA, and is obsessed with all things mermaid :)

 She is smart, oh-so-smart, silly, sweet and extremely cautious.  She may not be the first to give you a laugh, or a smile, but when she does it lights up the room.  She loves to sing, play dress up, hear stories, run with her Daddy, play hide-and-go-seek (she hides in the same spot every time!), ride in her Daddy's car (are you sensing the theme here?!), help me cook, and make her brother laugh.  She likes for things to match, wants braids in her hair every day (like Rapunzel), and takes books to bed with her.  She snuggles with me every.single.morning, and always wakes up with a smile on her face.  She'd pick muffins for breakfast all the time if given a choice, and loves her some grilled cheese sandwiches.  She gets the hiccups every time she laughs (hard), will always order vanilla ice cream but then eat all of my chocolate, has a sensitive heart (just like me), and wants to be Strawberry Shortcake for Halloween.   

My girl has been such a blessing to me.  Every day is new and exciting to her, a fresh start and a joy.  What a way to live!  I think we could all stand to take some cues from a three year old.  I couldn't imagine my life without her, those big blue eyes and that sweet spirit.  I'm so thankful for my precious friend.  Thankful that she was there 4 years ago to listen to me, encourage me, and most of all, to pray with me.  Letting go was the best thing I have ever done.  It led to an open heart, and a precious, priceless, perfect gift...my daughter.

E-ism's

I love E's little personality.  She is growing so quickly, and her language skills just seem to get better and better every day (and funnier, too!).  Here are some of my favorite E-ism's...

Strawberry THE Shortcake instead of just Strawberry Shortcake

Flounder THE Fish instead of just Flounder

I need "my" songs...when she wants to listen to her CD in the car.

I'm such a silly goose.

There are mommies in my room and I'm scared of them! (Meaning mummies, I guess; however, I have no idea where she's ever seen or heard about mummies!)

Daddy loves me to the moon and back TWICE.  (I'm sure Chris had NOTHING to do with that one!  Ha!)

I swim her around ~when talking about her Ariel mermaid doll which she swims around A LOT.

When asked where her grandparents live, she responds "Texas, YeeHaw!"

"What's his name?  What's her name?  Who's That?"  About Every. Single. Person we come in contact with :)

Can we eat at "the place" ~ meaning any restaurant.  I guess she's trying to tell me she doesn't like my cooking!

Because ~ in between almost every phrase she says.  So funny!

I can do it myself!!  ~ This is, by far, her favorite sentence at the moment.

I love you sooooo much, Mommy. ~ This is, by far, my favorite sentence of the moment.

A New Look :)

Well hello there, bloggy friends!  I have a tendency to stay up way too late when Chris isn't around, and tonight has been no different.  What do I do when I can't go to sleep, you ask?  Ummm, re-do my blog template, that's what!  It felt like it needed a change, and when I saw this one it just made me happy...so here it is :)  Hope you guys like it, too!

What's New??

A lot has changed in the past 6 months.  Our babies are growing, we're settling into our new home, we've finally found a church home that we absolutely LOVE, we're making friends in our community (not just military ones), and I feel like we're finally getting into the groove of being parents of two.  That last part is still a work in progress!  I thought I'd share a little bit about where we are individually...so here it goes:

Little Man....

Our little guy isn't so little anymore!  It's so funny when people meet him and find out that he's not quite 6 months old yet, the first thing they ask is how big he was when he was born.  They're always kinda shocked when I tell them a measly 7lbs 12 oz!  I'm anxious to see what he weighs at his next Dr's appt...at his 4 month check-up he was almost 17lbs, and I'd guess he's gained at least 1.5 since then!  If nothing else, his cheeks alone have doubled in size :)

I could tell from an early age that E was going to be super sensitive (just like her Mama).  In the same way, I think M is going to be a super happy & very cuddly little boy.  He has the biggest smile, and his little eyes just light up when he starts to play.  He's eating 6 oz about 5 times a day, and we've been doing oatmeal in the morning and baby food at night.  So far he has liked everything we've tried...totally different from his sister!  He can roll both ways, LOVES his bounce-a-roo, sticks everything he can get his hands on in his mouth (we've had to really watch E with her goldfish. She wants to share with him so bad she can't hardly stand it!), and he likes it when I sing to him.  He takes 2.5 naps a day (usually), and he's still working on the whole sleeping through the night thing.  And when I say "working on it", I mean he's not quite sure he likes the idea.  At. All.  At first it was frustrating.  Now it's just gotten to be my routine, I guess.  No worries...I just got new under-eye concealer, so I'm all good :)

E girl...

My precious girl is getting to be so big!  She's a huge help w/ her brother, and loves to make him laugh.  She seems to surprise us with something new she's learned every day, and her new mantra is "all by myself"!  I try to encourage her as much as I can, but I find myself trying to hurry her along every now and then b/c her speed is a snails pace most of the time...par for the course in toddlers :)  She's never satisfied with the number of books we read at night, and always wants "just one more story peas?".  It's pretty cute, and super hard to say "no" to!  She's been completely potty-trained for about 3 months now, and though we were really anxious about giving in to her request for "big girl panties" during the night, she's never had an accident.  That's kind of her style though, she decides what she wants and by-golly, she's going to make it happen!  

Miss Priss will be starting swimming lessons in about a week, and we're both super excited!  Me, because I love to swim and I'm anxious to see if she'll feel the same way.  Her, because she found her new swimsuit the other day and it has sailboats on it...and she's pretty stoked to put it on!  Ha!  She'll also be starting pre-school in September, and after lots of searching, I think I've found the perfect one for her.  I want her to learn and to be engaged, but to have fun and form good relationships most of all!  I think the one we chose will provide opportunity for all of those things, so I'm really looking forward to seeing how she does :)  And she'll only go 3x per week in the mornings, so I won't miss her too much!  All in all, she's a really happy little girl who loves to sing & talk & dance & have tea parties...and I wouldn't change that for the world :)

My hubs...

C has been in his squadron for about 4 months now, and the pace is about what we expected...pretty intense.  There's definitely never a dull moment!  We've been fortunate lately about getting to spend little snippets of time with him throughout the day.  There's nothing worse than having him leave for work before the kids wake up, and not get home until well after they're in bed, so we take all the little moments together that we can get! 

He found out about 2 weeks ago that he got selected to promote to Major!!  WooHoo!  We're pretty proud of him :)  And about a week ago he got to be the Wingman of the Base Commander (so the #2 jet) in an "Elephant Walk" that our base did to commemorate its role in WWII.  Pretty awesome!  After lots of thought and prayer, he's decided to go ahead and pursue his Master's degree (I like to think I had a little bit of an encouraging role in that decision!), and he's in the process of narrowing down his school selection.

Me...

(With Wendy in DC)

Hmm, well the first thing that comes to my mind when I think about myself is that I'm really, really, REALLY tired!  Ha!  Funny, but oh-so-true!  But to take the edge off, I've gotten back into doing things that I really enjoy: sewing, crafting, reading and writing.  I recently taught the squadron ladies how to make headbands/hairpieces for the Warrior Banquet that we had last night.  So fun!  I don't know what happened, but I kind of went on a sewing hiatus when we moved here.  Now that I'm back in the crafting groove, I've taught myself how to do applique, made gifts for 5 friends who are pregnant,     

made 2 birthday gifts, and made a spring wreath for our front door out of yarn & felt (sounds weird, but it turned out super cute!).  I'm happy when I'm creating things, and I gotta be honest...I've been super happy lately :)

Hope you've all had a wonderful weekend!  The weather here in NC is gorgeous, and I'm looking forward to enjoying it this afternoon.  Blessings for a great week, friends! 

The "D" Word

Deployment.

Yuck, I hate that word.  No seriously, I hate it.  It's a word that strikes fear and dread in the heart of every military spouse.  Well, every military spouse I know, at least :)  But it comes with the territory, I guess.  And so, as hard as it is, I have to gear up & accept it.  Embrace it...no.  But, accept it...I guess I can do that.  Which brings me to the planning part.  Honestly, it's the part I like the most if there's such a thing.  I like looking at the calendar and planning out things to fill our days while C is away.  I've never gone through a deployment with kids before.  Some people say it's easier because the time goes by so much faster (they never mention that it's because the work you do seems doubled!). Some people say it's harder because you have these sweet littles who continuously ask where their daddy is.  I think it's the same whether you have kids or not.  Deployments. Just. Stink.

My quest lately has been to find things that will make this one coming up a little bit easier on E.  It will be her first, and I want to start out on the right foot.  I want to be intentional, to have a plan, to have some answers for the questions that I know are coming.  C & I recently took at little mini-vacation and left the kiddo's with their grandparents for 2 nights.  When we got back, we quickly realized that Elli has major separation anxiety.  To my utter dismay her new favorite words are, "don't leave me".  Add big blue eyes, and little blonde ringlet curls to that and well, it's hard not to just throw in the towel!  Ha!  But seriously, it's made me very anxious about the time that her daddy will be away.  To be completely honest, it breaks my heart.  

But, the best way to tackle that (in my opinion) is to plan!  Chris is taking her to make a Build-a-Bear that will have his voice recorded in it, we're going to get her a Daddy Doll (which I've heard is all the rage!), we'll be video taping her reading some bedtime stories so that they can still "read" together at night and we're doing the recordable books as well.  We'll be heading back to Texas for a big portion of the time that he's away, or we'd do a count-down chain...I think it'd be kinda hard to travel with it.  Do you guys have any other suggestions?  I'd love to hear about some things that you've done with your kids, or that you've heard have worked with other kids!  I've been scouring the internet in my search of all things deployment related, but I'd really like to consider some tried & true things that worked for "real people/kids" :)

We're still a ways away from C leaving, and we're cherishing every single moment with him until the time comes for him to go.  I guess that's another "good" thing about deployments...it teaches you that there is really no time to take things for granted.  If only I could remember that the next time I get frustrated that his clothes didn't quite make it into the laundry basket...again!

Ephesians 4:32

My friend Wendy posted something on FB recently that really intrigued me.  It was a link to a website called Kindness Girl, and the topic was Guerilla Goodness.  Think random acts of kindness, but funner!  (Yes, I know funner isn't a word, but it works in this case!).  If there is one thing that I want to teach my children (besides to love the Lord), it is to be kind.  It's an attribute that I hope people think of when they think of me, and it's a legacy I pray that I'll leave with my kids.  Kindness.  So simple, yet so lacking in society...if you ask me.  And this girls website is AWESOME!  Totally inspirational.  In fact, as soon as I wiped my eyes after watching the videos (I'm a emotional crier), I told Wendy that our little town was about to be taken by storm, DDD style.  Oh, you'll have to watch some of the videos if you want to know what DDD is :)  See how sneaky I am?! 

So, my first mission is to spread some thankfulness to those who aren't thanked often enough.  This morning, as I watched the trash men working their way down the street at 7am, I got an idea.  Next Wednesday (that's our trash day), E and I will be waiting outside with a box of donuts, a carton of OJ and a big 'ole thank-you card.  I'll let you know how it goes :)

My plan is to spread a little love once or twice a month to some people who least expect it.  The gate-gaurds, the DMV workers (if anyone needs a little smile, it's them!), and the people who work at the Social Security office (I had to go there 2x last month and I'm thinking they are some of the worst treated people ever!) are all on my list.  Do you have any other ideas?  Any people working in jobs that you think are thankless that might deserve a little smile?  I'm all ears.  I think that will be part of the fun...trying to think of something that will make a particular job-group happy.  I was thinking a bouquet of daisies for the DMV...just something bright and happy :)  Let me know what y'all come up with...and better yet, if you decide to do it in your town, blog about it so I can see!!  

"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."  Ephesians 4:32

Christmas 2012

Christmas was awesome this year...seriously, the best one yet! We decorated for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving, and this year I was pumped b/c Chris got us a new tree! I'm a HUGE nerd, and super allergic to real trees, so ours was fake...but FABULOUS! It was pre-lit, had a button that you push to turn the lights on, was the perfect height, and it looked awesome in our front window. But, I digress...enough about the tree!

Christmas was so great this year because we started (and continued) some of our very own traditions. Not the ones that we necessarily had when we were kids, but special ones just for our family. We have a snowman advent calendar that we bought in Germany a few years ago that we talked about every night (we even made up a song, but my hubs would KILL me if I told you about it!). I got out all of the Christmas books that my mom has collected for me over the years and those were the ones that we read to Elli at bedtime. We got dressed up and went to the Christmas Eve service at a church we had never been to before. We woke up on Christmas morning and sipped hot chocolate while we opened our stockings, ate some yummy monkey bread, and then opened presents around the tree while listening to carols. It was like a dream for me, just the way I imagined it would be for my children. And I remember just looking at both of them in awe, praying that they treasure these times when we're all together because I know that Chris's job makes holidays as a family a little bit uncertain. We let the kids play with their toys all day, and then I made a birthday steak dinner for Chris that evening. We don't do the traditional turkey at Christmas yet...I'm still a little bit intimidated!

We have a HUGE family. The kids have four sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles, great-grandparents, and then us...it makes for quite a lot of presents! Now I'm not anti-present or anything, but I want to make sure that in the midst of all the holiday hoopla, the kids understand the REAL reason that we're celebrating. This year we (Chris and I) decided to do 3 "Santa" gifts to represent the 3 wisemen's gifts to Christ. We then did 4 smaller presents sticking the the theme of: Want It, Wear It, Need It, Read It. Micah was so young that we didn't really do it for him, but Elli got a microphone, a dress, some big-girl panties, and 3 books. She was thrilled, and it's definitely a tradition that we'll continue!

Here's some pics from our holiday season...

Guess who loves Santa?!

The kids first picture with Mr. Claus

My little guy and I at the Kids Christmas Party on base.

Our little family

Elli's present from Grandma & Granddad...can you tell that she LOVES Cinderella?!

My precious girl ready for church

Mall Santa...I might have cried :)

This might be my favorite picture of the season! I love Elli's face, and how Micah is just laying there...I want to remember it forever!

Merry Christmas from The Duncan's!

Micah soaking it all up on Christmas morning.

I know it was awhile ago, but what are some of your favorite holiday traditions??