A friend of mine and I were talking yesterday about how rosy other people's lives seem when they're looked at via Facebook & Blog updates. Don't get me wrong, I love to rejoice with friends when good things happen to them...I just think that the small snippets of life that we get from these outlets aren't necessarily always painting an accurate picture. Know what I mean? And I'm totally guilty of it too, because I'm not sure that anyone wants to hear about the fact that I haven't vacuumed my house in over 2 weeks, or that the hat that I'm wearing isn't a fashion statement but a way to hide my unwashed hair! But then again, is wearing a hat really ever a fashion statement, or do I just tell myself that? Anyway, you get my point!
But I read a blog recently all about eating the proverbial "parenting crow", and it cracked me up!! If you visit, make sure you read the comments as well because they're just as funny :) And The Nester's whole motto is "it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful"...and you all know how much I LOVE her! And all of that got me thinking that maybe, just maybe, people DO want to know about the imperfections in our lives; that it's those imperfections that make us real and approachable.
To that end, I thought I'd give y'all just a little glimpse into my "real" life :) And I'm going to just go ahead and assume that the judgement will be kept to a minimum! Ha!
So, you know how I just said that I haven't vacuumed in 2 weeks? Umm, well it's been closer to 3...or 4. Ugh, I know! I hate vacuuming, I really do! And I question my parenting skills daily. Is this good for E to eat? Should we have more of a schedule? Am I teaching her enough? Is she getting enough interaction? Should she be in classes...music/storytime/etc? And the list goes on (and on and on). I argue with my husband. Luckily he's pretty darn cute and it's hard to stay mad at him! I quit things. A lot of things. And I'm not proud of it. I'm not great at responding to emails, and even worse at returning phone calls. 99% of the time I'm a super supportive military spouse. The other 1% of the time I struggle with the hours, the commitment, and the sacrifices that we all have to make due to C's service...and that's the honest truth. I miss my family and get so homesick sometimes that I cry, and I'm not a pretty crier! Though I should be used to it by now, I still get nervous and intimidated each and every time we go to a new base...but I DO love the "moving" part. I look back at my life and see a lot of mistakes, things I wish I could take back, things I'd do differently. That's not to say that I don't like where I am now, I just recognize that my decisions in getting here weren't always the greatest.
Bottom line is that no one is perfect, and we're not meant to be. I love what Romans 5:8 has to say about it...
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
What are some of your imperfections? Wanna share? It actually kinda felt nice to put it all out there :) Hopefully I haven't run you all off with my honesty...I know it's hard to look past those dirty floors!
10 comments:
I think it's refreshing to be so honest! I'm sure a lot of us could learn from you!
Here is what I've got: My house is wreck. Clutter is everywhere and I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I don't know what to do about it and no one wants to come and clean it for me so I just leave it.
I'm worried about becoming a mother to two. I freaked out the other day thinking about how little time is left with just Sawyer and how this change will affect him and us for the rest of our lives.
My job consumes my life more than it should.
My husband goes without thanks more often than not.
I haven't been to church since Easter.
Bible study groups freak me out.
I gave up trying to feed Sawyer real veggies and feed him baby food instead.
I haven't done one thing to get ready for Everett. Poor child will have to sleep in a box.
Blogging is fun, but I always feel bad because I have a hard time keep it up.
Is that enough to get started?!? :) I feel better getting this off my chest!
Amy you are a great supporter of military wives! You were the only one to keep up with me and support me while Jason was gone this last time! You are an awesome friend! And for honesty, I want to be like you in that regards! You always make close friends when you move around and seem to keep up with many of them after leaving. I am HORRIBLE at keeping up with friends! I could comment all days on my imperfections...but here are just a few...I too don't keep a clean house, I get aggrivated when people complain about what I cook b/c I love to cook, I let clothes sit in the dryer forever b/c I hate to fold clothes!
I'm the exact same way. My house isn't always the cleanest but we do manage to do a lot of things together as a family when Jason's home. I like you, the majority of the time am a super supportive military spouse, but um, yeah, when he leaves this year two days before my Birthday for training and that will mean he hasn't/won't be here for my birthday for 3 years in a row, I get kind of upset. I know it's just a birthday, but darn it, it's special to me and I want him here to just give me a hug and a kiss. It's so refreshing to be honest and know that there are others that deal with what you go through also.
I love you girl! Check out my blog for a response to your blog.
I wish we would have been closer friends while we were in school!!! We live such similar lives! Thank you for posting this... I often read your blog and question EVERYTHING that I'm doing because you seem to have it all together! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with "unkept" floors! :) And here is one that I wish I was better at... but simply am not -- I hardly ever make my bed. Shocking. I know. :)
I totally understand where you are coming from. I question my parenting decisions all the time and never know how to respond when people say things like "she's so pretty" or "she's so happy" or whatever referring to Audrey. As for the floors, I hold playgroups at my house to force myself to vacuum and mop. Last week someone else hosted so my floors didn't get vacuumed. (I know 2 weeks doesn't sound like a lot, but we have dogs and cats so the floor was really bad.) The worst part is that I've become the person who cleans for other people, but not for my own family. I can also have a really bad temper, I try to keep it in check, but it is a constant battle sometimes. Oh, and I have to work really hard not to be envious of those that have more than I do, even though 99% of the time I am happy to make the sacrifices needed to be home with Audrey. And those things are just scratching the surface of my imperfection. When I dwell on it I feel so bad that I can't do anything to fix it so I try to focus on the positive. That is why when I blog I talk mostly about the good stuff, so that when I am feeling really down I can go back and read my accomplishments and remember what I have done right. (That said, the day I was told that I was not protective enough of Audrey and then called overprotective a couple hours later was a really hard day.)
Oh, and wearing a hat can totally be a fashion statement, it's the constantly wearing my hair in a pony tail or twisted up out of my way because I didn't have time to brush it this morning that I worry about...
I try to remember the line from Anne of Green Gables, something along the lines of "tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet". I find it helps.
Oh, another imperfection, I gained over 50lbs while I was pregnant and still haven't lost it all...and yet I still get dessert and eat more than I probably should sometimes.
Thanks for this post Amy. You are totally right...so many snippets on Facebook and Blogging can make you wonder what you are doing wrong when other people "seem" to have it all together. Hugs! And thanks for letting reminding me imperfection is ok :)
This is something that has been on my mind a lot. How perfect facebook can make a life seem. However, there are so many that are also just the opposite. Always something is wrong. I have a bit of a self-depricating personality. I like to make fun of myself; so there is probably usually a mix from me.
I hate cooking. I worry I don't feed my kids healthy enough food.
I worry a lot about Elle's shyness and wonder if I'm handling it the right way or making it worse.
I absolutely do not like being a military spouse at all. I dream about a normal life.
I haven't been to church in awhile either.
I could go on and on. I'm pretty good at pointing out my negative traits! Haha!
OH...and I'm super paranoid and should probably talk to someone about that.
My temper can get pretty bad as well. Maybe I should talk to someone about that, too.
But, really, we are all perfect...imperfections and all.
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