Control, or lack thereof!

If I were to pick one thing about myself that I wish like everything that I could change, it would most definitely be the small issue that I have with control.  By small, I actually mean ginormously (how do you spell that again??) large, but I thought that might sound a little too self-deprecating!  You see, it's not that I don't know in my heart that the Lord's plans are far better than mine could ever be.  It's not even that I don't know that my constant planning really does nothing but drive me (and maybe my husband, though he's pretty good about just smiling at me when I start w/ the flow charts!) crazy.  I really think that the root of my need for control stems from the fact that in the military we just plain don't have any!!

We're in the midst of 3 BIG life changes (Chris's training, moving back to America, and having a baby), and lately my head just seems to be spinning and swirling in a million different directions. I'm constantly questioning where we are going to live, whether we should rent or buy,  and will our furniture get there in time??  I'm nervous about spending 9+ hours on an airplane when I'm 7+ months pregnant!  I'm worried that our parents won't make it to Mississippi in time to see our baby being born.  And while I'm caught up in all these seemingly important questions & concerns, I sometimes overlook the fact that ultimately my sense of control over all of these things is fruitless.  Everything will be okay, even if things don't work out quite the way we had planned.  God promises us that.  

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
Proverbs 3:5-6

My prayer is that we (I) remember those words, and try to imprint them onto my heart.  It will not only make our upcoming transitions easier, but it will make Him happy as well.  Subsequently, I found another verse that gave me a moments pause...

An anxious heart weighs a man down.
Proverbs 12:25

Such an honest verse, and yet quite humorous in my case as well!

Blessings, 
Amy

3 comments:

Danielle said...

I always like to say that plans are God's way of keep us entertained until He is ready for His plan. I'm a control freak, too. You probably already knew that. My biggest unplanned event was Keira and I was so anxious the entire pregnancy...for nothing. She is so easy. Thank goodness!

17 April 2009 at 08:08
Wendy said...

Amy - that post can very easily describe me....but I am sure you know that as we are always discussing different scenarios with life. Why did we marry AF men? : ) WE can't control anything in the AF. But you are so right...no matter how hard we want to control things....God has bigger and better plans!

24 April 2009 at 07:23
S and J said...

So, true.
But sometimes it's so hard to remember that God IS in control.
Everything will be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end!

7 May 2009 at 00:44

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