I've learned something new this week: reading is not quite as easy as it used to be! Let me clarify a little bit...finding time to read is not quite as easy as it used to be!! Ha! But, I'm so glad that I made the effort b/c I really enjoyed the first 2 chapters of our book. How about you?? While trying to do a little research on what we could talk about here at our little web-meeting, I went straight to the source...Beth, herself! On her blog, she is doing the same thing that we are, only on a MUCH larger scale. The discussion questions/thinking points that we'll use are straight from her so I think we'll really get a lot out of the book! Let's dive in!!
Discussion/Assignment:
**Beth wrote these herself, so the "I" is referring to her.**
1. Write a journal-type entry on the inside cover of your book describing this present season of your life and why you’ve chosen to read a book like this. If you already have a relationship with God, write it in the form of a prayer. I do this almost every time I begin a book that I think could have a considerable impact on my life. When I finish the book, I always go back and read it and it ends up meaning so much to me. Listen, Sister, if you expect little, that’s probably what you’ll get. But if you expect something big from God when you start a journey and you posture yourself to receive from Him, even when frail human beings are thrown in the mix, you’ll end up with something huge. Something life altering.
2. Based on Chapter 1: When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.
2. Based on Chapter 1: When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.
For me, the last time I came face-to-face with our gender's (my) massive struggle with insecurity was about a week ago (on my birthday) on the floor of my closet. Let's just say I had a "moment" (or twenty!). Looking back, I'm going to blame it on the poor lighting and the terrible mirror...but in the midst of my total meltdown I felt hideous. I can laugh now, and chalk it up to the 29th birthday blues, but deep down it still hurts a little bit. No woman wants to feel ugly, or fat, or pasty white (can I still blame that on England?!), or all of the above. And though I don't feel that way every day, or even every other day, there are some low moments scattered throughout my month where I feel pretty bad about myself. And let me tell you, Chris just LOVES it when those moments rear their ugly heads!
3. Based on Chapter Two: What part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?
The definition that resonated the most with me was the part that said insecurity is "a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world". Doesn't that just sound awful?! Let me tell you, it's pretty tough to write it. But we're being honest, and it is my sincere prayer that I will truly learn something by exploring this side of myself.
As a military wife, I have found that it's often difficult to find my own identity. It's not easy to have a career when you move all the time. For me, it's even hard to find the motivation to pursue things that I know I won't be able to continue at our next location...wherever that may be. And when I feel that way, it's hard to feel like I have a "place". And I'm not talking about my "place" in my family b/c I truly believe that I have the best job in the world being Elli's mommy & Chris's wife. I'm talking about the doubt in my heart that I am using the gifts that God gave me to the best of my ability. The questions, "am I wasting time", "is this what I should be doing", "am I doing enough", are always in my head.
I'd love to hear what all of you think about these questions & the book in general. Whether you've read the book, are reading it with us, or would just like to leave a comment...I'll treasure your responses. Though I had thought about what I was going to write, it wasn't until I actually sat down to start typing that my true feelings started to come out. Maybe it will be the same with you...and maybe we can overcome some of our own insecurities together :)
Hope you all had a great weekend!!
4 comments:
Well, I didn't start it. This is the first time I've looked at your blog in a while. I've been so busy with Easter stuff, that I haven't started but I will catch up.
I read the first two chapters tonight so hopefully I will catch up soon. First of all, thanks for being so honest in your post. It's encouraging for me to be completely honest as well.
#2 I would say Easter. It's kind of the same thing as Amy, we might be twins. A friend here gave me a dress that she bought and could not wear because it was too long. It is a super-cute dress so I saved it for Easter as my "Easter dress". I put the dress on, looked in the mirror, threw a few different sweaters over it and it just didn't work. Jeff went downstairs to pull the car out of the garage so I had to think fast. I changed in a matter of seconds and took off downstairs. So many friends look at the maternity months as such a beautiful time, and it's the exact opposite for me. My face reminds me of the 15-year boy down the street, my awkward belly makes my shirts fit funny, and because I can't button my pants, my new theme song is "Pants on the Ground." I feel ugly, and it definitely flows into my marriage. I wish I had the glow of motherhood; unfortunately it's just my oily skin.
#3 "profound sense of self-doubt" really struck my heart. I know that I doubt myself everyday in common knowledge and my own desires. I doubt that I will ever get a job. I doubt that I will be a good mom. I doubt people in general. I don’t like this type of attitude that I’ve become accustomed to, and I hope to get rid of it someday.
Kel, thanks for sharing!! Listen, from my heart to yours, I KNOW how you feel about the pregnancy belly! Nothing fits! And my struggle, right now at least, is this huge disappointment in myself for not being able to stay motivated to keep off what I've lost. And it's so true what you said about it flowing into your marriage, as well. In chapter 3 (or 4 maybe) Beth talks about the fact that her issues w/ her appearance are focused on her husband. What if he doesn't treasure her, or think she's beautiful? What if he finds someone else who is better? I think this is where it all stems from. But, friend...we're gonna fix that!! Already, in chapter 4 I'm realizing some truths about the Lord. Things we both already know, but need to REMEMBER!! And girl, I promise you right now that you looked gorgeous in your Easter dress. I didn't even see you and I know it to be true. LOVE you!
Are their any women who don't struggle with their weight. Even at almost 55 years old, I look at older actresses on TV or in the movies who have wonderful figures and wonder why it can't be so with me. But even as a child, I was skinny and people made such fun of me...and called me names. Here I am as an adult and it's same game, just a differect issue.
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